I got this pretty cool devotional over the weekend. It's called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I had been wanting to get something new and I particularly liked the one I found, because I felt my heart tugged at the moment I opened it up and read a random day as I stood in the bookstore. The book has led me to ask a lot of questions, which has led to a lot of journaling. And that has led to a lot of prayer and talking to God.
It's made me feel softer this week. More like me again.
These are some of the questions I've asked myself this week....
What things feel impossible to me?
If God says nothing is impossible, what does that mean for the list of things I made that "feel" impossible?
What is God already at work doing? Where am I seeing these things?
Do I believe God is taking care of me? Where have I recently experienced His care?
What does abandoning myself to God's will look like? What has kept me from doing that?
What "conditions" are requiring me to be still?
How have I wished quiet hours away?
What would it look like for me to look for God's way in my circumstances?
What is God's way in my RA?
What is God's way in my addictions?
What is God's way in trying to get pregnant again?
What is God's way in our finances?
What is God's way in my marriage and life with Todd?
How can limitations be liberating?
Where am I experiencing my relationship with God to be vibrant and challenging?
Where is God "invading" my life?
Where am I clinging to old ways and sameness? What does it look like to let go of old ways and cling to God? Can I even do that?
I love how in seeking answers, it draws me more to the heart of God and His love for me. I didn't post my answers or what I journaled in response to those questions on purpose - that feels almost too personal to share here. It's been a long while since I have purposed to read or journal or do something on a consistent basis. I haven't really wanted to until now. I've missed these quieter moments with the Lord, the soaking in of truth and just spending a few minutes every day with a cup of coffee and a pen and faced with the reality that my life is not all about me.
And until this week, I didn't realize how much I've been missing out on.